HOW I TURNED MY EXCUSES INTO MY MOTIVATION

What was stopping me? Was I too tired? Wasn’t I getting enough sleep? Don’t have enough time? Don’t have enough energy? Is that what was stopping me? No. the only thing that was stopping me was ME.

You see, excuses sound best for the person who is making them. I am going stop feeling sorry for myself. Yes I had my worst years. Yes my worst dreams did come true. Yes I lost too many people. Yes I did go in depression. So what? If I need to be somewhere, somewhere where I dream, I am going change now. I am not going to give any excuses. Those people who left am not  coming back. Move on. I am going to get out of pitty potty. Telling ten people that I am sad is not going to change anything. The only person that can change my situation is me. Only me. I stopped giving excuses. I want to be better. I want to get near my dreams. I want to be someone. I want to have a personality. No body is going to hand me anything. I am going to earn it. I got my beast mode on. Its game on.

I got a problem with my life, I got a problem about my environment, I am going to do something about it. I am going to use every resource I have, everything my father and friends going to provide . I am going to use it. Can’t let their efforts go in vain.

I recognised the excuses I made are lies. What stop the lies? THE TRUTH. The truth is, I got the potential. I got the time. I got the energy. I have skills. I got determination. I have the support. I am going to use it all.

Everything in life begins with challenge. There is no such thing like tomorrow .I have got today. Till the end of day, I am going to do everything that takes me one step near my success. It’s my grind season.

I want to work and have fun too, I will do both. I will work at night. I want to spend three hours with people I love I will, but I’ll make sure it won’t have adverse effect on my success. It’s not that hard if you really want to taste what success is. all you need to do is be successful as bad as you want to breathe. I got faith. I am coming for everything they said I cannot do !

Love and hugs

ACCEPT REALITY

Recently I have been frustrated about the quality of time I have been spending with my friends. I have been feeling alone cause no one actually talks to each other.

So every evening me and my friends meet at our regular spot to chill with eachother. Its been a tradition for almost two years now. So we usually play games, joke about eachother and play video games. But over a period of time, I have realised that we don’t talk to eachother. Like about any stuff. Our lives, our careers, what we learned today, sharing our experiences. I guess the main reason is there is nothing to talk about.

Its almost as if nothing new happens in their lives. It’s the same routine for months. Like they will play in the morning for like two hours, go home, play again, play again in the afternoon, and again when we meet in the evening. In between all this they sleep, eat and do personal chores. Trust me this is not the situation only with my friends, half of the generation is so addicted to pubg that it kind off makes me not like it. Sometimes I feel like their whole lives revolve around these games

So I personally don’t play video games like pubg or mobile legends or whichever is the most hyped game right now, cause I don’t like it, so I never tried and thus can’t play at all. But my friends love to play all these games and I totally respect their choice. I mean just cause we are friends doesn’t mean we should have same taste in games as well.

Am I against playing that game? Ofcourse not.  I love to see funny videos in my past time, they like to play pubg. But most of the time we forget the words, ‘in my past time.’ Anything, like literally anything you do in right quantity is going to be beneficial. Do something productive for atleast an hour and then play or have fun your way.

When I look at my generation. I feel like they have lost the ability to actually talk, convey their feelings. That’s because no one talks about serious stuff anymore.

In short I mean to say, I know you love playing those video games, but think about your life as much as you think about who got the most kills or which level I am at in a particular game. Communicate with people. That is the whole reason of meeting your friends.  Think deep people. Like ten years down the lane nobody is going to ask you what was your rank in some game you love to play right now. Its all temporary. Worry about where you will be in next five years, that’s going to help you more.

I have tried so many times to talk to my close friends about this. About they investing their precious time in games all day long . I have reached a point in my life where I don’t want to give up on them but I have to. Give up in sense stop telling them about consequences of what they are doing in their personal lives. accept their choices. the earlier they learn that its “just a game” is better. 

Love and hugs

AM I IN THE RIGHT RELATIONSHIP?

Related image

No relation is going to be all rainbows and sunshine. I think relation is like a tree. Happiness is like the long branches of the tree and the arguments like the roots, deep down into the earth.

So I recently came in relationship with a guy whom I wish would have met earlier. At least I wouldn’t had to go through heartbreaks for boys who didn’t deserve my heart. The first three months were all sweet, we used to go out, have fun with no boundaries and we were far from reality. It got serious after three months when I completely fell in love with him. I can see he being my future.

So as I have experienced few heartbreaks in past, it makes  lot harder to trust anyone now. It takes time to completely trust someone cause I have been lied by my own friends who did wrong in my life. My past takes a toll on my current relationship. I have hell lot of insecurities, and to be honest I sometimes over react. Well I am an over thinker and I don’t really know whether is a beneficial quality or a trait. Before I met him, I had a very laid back attitude in my life . Trust me when I say I used to do nothing except have fun , go out and party. I had goals but was too lazy to work to complete them. He hates lazy people and the last thing I want is he hating me for the trait I can overcome.

So Aditya, the guy I am dating is different and not at all easy to deal with. When I say this its with utmost positivity and love for him. I know he is difficult and I still love him. He is man with so much passion for his work that he might just prefer to outwork himself everyday.  For once its good to have someone who will have your back no matter what. Who motivates you to do good stuff. Who adds value to your life.  One who respects and values you.

Well as I said its not always sunshine and rainbows. We fight over stuff and when we do it turns out to be pretty dirty. But at end of the day, he is the only guy that makes me so freaking happy. I would rather face all the difficulties and arguments we have than giving up on my relationship with him just because I wasn’t mature enough to handle the serious matters. No matter what life throws at us, I still want to work it out with him. He is the guy which brings out the best of me. Well he pisses me off equally but that’s fine.

So my main point is, yes I know he is not perfect but that what actually makes him more human. What matters is I can actually see him taking efforts to be with me and deal with my miserable insecure ass. Stick with someone who would rather take steps to prove it to you that you are the only person they want to be with. Be with someone with whom you have such a strong bond that even on his bad day, you are the person he runs up to.

There has been times when Aditya has seen me sleep, on my period, bare face, breaking out, crying, with my messy hair and no matter what he never failed to make me feel that I am the only girl he has his heart beating for. And frankly I feel every girl needs a man who is hyped about her, who helps her build her confidence and self esteem and not give up.

Relationships are not only sending cute texts, saying I love you like million times, roaming around, having fun. Its building your partner, its pushing them hard towards their success, its patience, its trust, its working for the day when you could say, “we made it”. Its not easy to stick with someone whose worst side you have seen and still want to build your life with them. It’s a lot of work.

I am so glad to finally say that I feel like I am in the right relationship . I am exactly where I need to be and exactly with the one I want to be with. I wouldn’t trade my man for anything that the world will offer to me.

Love and hugs.

GET YOUR HEAD IN THE GAME

I love fear motivation. When somebody comes and tells me , if you don’t do this , you are going to lose. It scares the hell out of me cause I hate to lose anything. People, opportunities, wars. Everyday we chose stuff which is not in our best interest. There’s a saying, ‘Everyone wants to go to heaven, but no one wants to die.’

We should be able to sacrifice something we are right now to what we want to be. I think self discipline is the only thing that brings material success. Often when people say discipline, we look up to it as a punishment. For me discipline is as simple as getting out of your comfort zone. Its simply choosing long term respect over immediate momentary pleasure. I always say to my myself: I have to win this war aginst myself first, then against the world.

When I thought about self discipline, I started believing that self discipline is self love. For example, self love is knowing you have a test on Monday, knowing you want party with your friends on Saturday night, but you choose to not go cause if you fail in that test on Monday, you are not going to feel good about yourself. Its like I love myself too much to make myself feel that way. That’s how you discipline your mind.

We should always thrive for quality rather than quantity. When I decide to build a wall, I don’t decide I’ll built the greatest, biggest, strongest wall. I decide to lay a single brick in period of five minutes in such a way that no other brick will be laid better that the brick which I have laid. Its difficult and scary to see how big the task is. I always start with baby steps. It doesn’t matter who is going beyond me, who is catching up with me or where they at. I got my stuff going on, with my pace. Other peoples opinion is a shitty way of determining how you feel about yourself.

Believe in yourself. Get all your strength and brains in to your game. Its yours to win.

Love and Hugs

THE GUY THAT SHOUL’VE BEEN NAMED HEARTBREAK

This is probably going to be the most vague and difficult blogs I have written so far. It brings back so many memories that I don’t know how to explain it but I am going to get the words out and try to express it.

Have you ever met someone who can be felt inside your bones? Like you know that that  person is going to be someone big for you and your life?

Well…. He happened that way. At first it was nothing to think about until one day I realised that it was all intense and it consumed me. In few weeks I completely fell for him. Is it even possible to fall in love with someone you barely know?

I had never admired anyone like that before I met him. I completely adored him and I used to think that he is the best person alive. I don’t know what was about him that made me believe in soulmates. Maybe it was because my heart and soul really sung with him and for him. All I know Is that everything about him felt like sunlight. And I was sunflower so drawn to him that I couldn’t see how miserable he made me. I blind trusted him. Like legit he could fool me with his word and I would believe him even if every gut of mine would say he isn’t right for you. He had that sweet innocent face that you would believe in a moment if he made his annoying puppy eyes.

That’s how I met the guy who should’ve been named HEARTBREAK cause when he left, everything about him broke me. He is like walking heartbreak in my life. It doesn’t matter how hard you fall in love .  Or how badly you want to make it work. Sometimes it just not meant to be. That’s how life works.

The point is, sometimes you don’t get closure or the answers you have been looking for. I didn’t know whether to wait for him to change or walk away. I chose myself over him. He was nothing but pain in my heart and I decided I want to be happy. I want to be happy because of me and I don’t need someone else to make me happy. It was really tough at first I would get all the flashbacks and I couldn’t control my tears, but I knew my worth. I can’t stay with someone who doesn’t respect me or value me.

Do I hate him? No of course not.  Do I still love him? Not at all. But I am thankful for him. He taught me few valuable lessons in my life. I know that I can’t settle for less. I know how I can’t let anyone treat me the way he treated me.

I am not even angry that it didn’t work out. Actually I am glad it didn’t. I ended up with someone whom I can give my heart to without worrying about getting it stabbed again.

The day when he left me, I decided I’ll rather be someone who he will regret losing than being someone who is still crying for him to realise on his own.

Loves and hugs

START OF SOMETHING NEW :)

So technically I spent my whole summer doing nothing except occasional visits to my gym. My personal growth had come to a stagnant position. I guess I was just not motivated enough. I always thought that positive motivation works the best. Trust me, nothing motivates when someone you really respect and love brings to senses that you are just being a potato.

I was always good at writing down my emotions. Penning down my thoughts soothes me down. I am not answerable to anyone or why said this or felt that. Its just me and my feelings. It started in 12th, when I was depressed over losing someone I loved and for the first time I felt I had no one to talk when I found myself. One year later, writing has become my hobby and now my course of career. I simply love to write about what I am going through or what I went through. Not necessarily only the bad memories. When I read my old scripts I am proud of where I am now,  how strong I turned out to be. It boosts my confidence. I want to tell my story to everyone. I want to help heal those who are going through what I went through during my worst years.

Blogging helps me to introspect on myself, my mistakes. Makes me go over my past decisions and everytime I read what I have written, it teaches me new things. Blogging helps me understand myself and reveal the new me. It gives me a voice. it gives a place in this world where what I write might matter and help people.

So I met a guy four months ago. He changed my life for good. In my 19years of life, never have I seen such a motivated human and he motivated me to start something that I love and I will be proud of. The answer was easy, start a blog. I don’t know why I waited for so long to come to this decision. I am tired of people looking at me and say , “ nope, she cant do it.”

I will do it.  Everything that makes me happy. I will complete my every dream.  I am not just a pretty face with no brains.

I hope you love my STORIED LIFE. Its going to be hell of rollercoaster. See you soon.

LOVE AND HUGS

Create your website with WordPress.com
Get started